in-spire-d

May 28, 2011

The question today was, ” What inspires you?”

Normally I’d say my dogs, the beauty of horses or the way the sun lands on a petal enabling me to see it’s transparency, reminding me of mine. No. That wasn’t my answer. My answer was, you. YOU inspire me. You inspire me with your willingness to get up and do what needs doing even though you are beyond fatigued. You follow the rules, you try your hardest, you finish your homework even if you have to get up early to do so.

You sit up with your sick child all night, already feeling how tired you’ll be tomorrow at work but it doesn’t matter. For now your child needs you and as they breathe heavily in your face, their cheeks rosy from their body trying to protect itself you know this is where you are meant to be.

You look in the mirror, ignore the wrinkles, tell yourself you look damn good for your age and drive your kids to school because you do. Look. Damn good.

You “LIKE” Facebook posts of friends to let them know you are thinking about them, that you wish you lived closer or  could get together for dinner but for now this “LIKE” will have to do. You walk your dog when it’s too cold, too wet and too early to do so. You answer the phone when your friend calls knowing you don’t have time to help her out, but you’ll help her anyway because you know she’d do it for you. You deal with teenage drama, whether it be yours or someone else’s with understanding that hormones eventually get over themselves and a hug helps.

You listen well, say the right thing and put your worries away when you know you can help another. And you do it again and again and again because you know it makes a difference.

Yes, YOU inspire me. For when I doubt this is my calling in life, when I have more confusion with doubt than clarity with decision, when I look at how much I don’t know about what I’m trying to do and I’m not sure I have the muster to get there, you come to mind. I remind myself, “If she can do it, I can do it because she does W.A.Y. more than I do in a day.”

So I wanted you to know this, to realize the impact you have on others as I am certain I am not the only one who feels this way about you, I’m just putting in on the internet today. I wanted you to know that you may not know how your simple actions ripple out to help me, but they do. I wanted you to never doubt you are here for a reason because I am sure I am one of yours. I wanted you to know you matter. Much. A great deal. Just because you are you.

Thank. YOU. For what you do by being you.

XO

Kasha

secret

May 23, 2011

The question today was, ” What is the secret to a happy marriage?” Yes, you guessed it today is our Anniversary. Twenty four years ago today, as the story goes.

Answer:  Forgiveness.  When I look at my husband I see forgiveness. For he has forgiven me for all that I’ve knowingly and unknowingly done to him, as I have forgiven him the same. It’s his willingness to grant me this kindness that makes me want to allow him the same courtesy.

From my experience there is no secret to a happy marriage as there is no secret to most things in life. Paying attention, learning from what happens that you didn’t like and what you did like, remaining honest especially when it’s going to hurt you more than him to tell the truth, tossing judgement in the compost pile and letting things go. Letting the small things that blow-in like a spring rain shower, whose presence you understand is needed for growth even though you may get wet. You understand it won’t last long for behaviors like the weather change with the tides.

“Are you happily married?” is another good question. My answer, are you happily anything? Happily parenting, happily employed, happily you? Am I married, yes. Am I happy, yes.  But I am also mad, sad, frustrated, joyous, content, annoyed, peaceful and exhausted at times. Marriage is not a static state it’s a radio station of willingness. Tune in to being willing to make it work, tune out the petty things that you hope he overlooks in you.

After 24 years I feel I know less now about marriage and love than I thought I did when I said “I do”. I don’t have answers, absolute, but I have stories of situations that have stuck.  I don’t have definitions for love easily typed out,  but I know the blanket of contentment loving someone envelopes you in. I am a fuller person because he is in my life and this is enough.

This is my only secret I can share with you. Hopefully it’s enough.

XO
Kasha

know-it-all

May 22, 2011

Question of the day was: ” How do you know what to paint, what colors to use?”

Answer: Honestly I would have to say I never do “know” in the sense you are suggesting. There isn’t an absoluteness that  technical painters might speak of. I feel a hint, a direction. I start to move towards it and it gets stronger or weaker which guides my actions. (frightening thought, isn’t it?)

Antenna anyone? Yes, that is fair description of how I move about. Feelings run on frequencies. This basic instinct we’ve misplaced through years of hearing, “sit still, stop that, put that down, finish up now” being barked at us. (woof)

We hesitate to know-it-all for if we do (or say we do) then we have to explain ourselves when it doesn’t work out (says who?) or what we said we were doing is now something different (all my artwork) or worse yet, we have to admit we are W.R.O.N.G because adults are never wrong. We don’t leave room for wrong.

We’ve spent a good majority of our lives perfecting the fake act of knowing. People are watching us. People are waiting for us. People will tell us what to do if we say, ” I don’t really know” which follows with a flood of suggestions, questions and follow up questions of did we do as they suggested. It seems easier to fake it till we figure it out.

Having to-know as an adult is a misleading obligation. Can I be a kid please? Will you allow me that glorious look as you ask me what I learned today? Will you view me with total awe because of my smallest accomplishments. Will you applaud because I put my shoes on the right feet and even tied my own shoes? Can all of this be wonderful vs. mundane yet again? Sign. Me. Up. Help me replace my list of all I didn’t do well enough today with all that I just did. No goals to conquer. Just because I tried is good enough?

All of this, it, I know.

Know it as all I am.

No, I don’t know. I trust. I don’t care that I don’t know. I love falling backwards onto to trust knowing it will catch me. I don’t “mind” not knowing. I know I’m minding my-self. That is enough.

Here’s to you’re sense of enough. In you. For my dear you are Plenty. (Good’n Plenty!)

XO
Kasha

hold-ing

May 19, 2011

Question: ” How can I stop my mind from worrying or hold a still positive thought.”

Answer: It’s as simple as holding the door open for someone to pass through or holding  someone’s hand. Naturally you focus on doing the job right, making sure the door doesn’t slam shut or slip and making sure you hold their hand safe with good intention. By thinking about them you stop all other thoughts, aka worry, with this shift from inner me to outer them.

When you try too hard to think positively  you dent this fragile energy. Positive, happy, joyous things tend to vibrate softly with a subtle presence requiring a space without force.

We lean towards force to move ourselves because this feels like trying. This is success we are taught. Forced effort.

But maybe in this other world of gentle gesture it’s too much.

And in keeping with too much, this blog will end now leaving your some space to hold that thought.

To holding hands!

XO

Kasha

collapse

May 15, 2011

Question: “You know that feeling? Where you’re so sad, so something that you feel like your chest is going to collapse? How do I get over it? Will art help?”

Answer: Yes. I know that feeling oh so well. Better than you may imagine. That overwhelming feeling of emotion gone viral. Of despair on speed. Of disappointment gone deadly. For it feels that desperate. Yes, I know it’s face. I’ve had many heart to hearts with this thing I’ll call Floyd.

Perhaps it’s our ego’s way of purifying us. A kind of emotional detox that aches just as badly as any addiction, for I’ve found it’s usually linked to something that has become an addiction for me. Good addiction, bad addiction, I’m hooked on it and I need it. Hard to see how this is negative if it’s a positive addiction but in the world we walk, it’s possible we have it all backwards making a positive thing actually not so.

Good or bad this addiction must be severed, cut loose or freed. Yes, it’s for your own “good” as the saying goes though you may not see this. It seems there is always an un-layering which feels like a de-skinning as the layers pull away from your comfort zone, that which gives you a sense of you. This is the part that must go.

Why? Because on some level it’s not enabling you to serve your higher purpose. I know you don’t want to hear that for after years of planning, picking and choosing your career, your life, your vision, the last thing you want to hear is that it’s not where you’re suppose to be. Shoot me now.

I say collapse if you need to for as long as you need to till you fill up again.

There is no way of knowing how long this will be but here is where time is not calculated. Here is where time is fluid, like the water you drink. Here is where you get hydrated.  Here is where logic cuts sharply and encouraging words feel violating as sentences of suggestions slice at your soul. You don’t need anyone to tell you what to do. You need to fall in till the confusion settles.

You need very little in life and during these times you need even less. This is to remind you how enough you are of how complete you have always been of how simple life can truly be. But oh we complicate it so.

Yes, Art will help if Art calls to you to help. Yes, you will get over it, under it, around it or through it as you will it to be so. I don’t know the how of it, but I know for a fact that you will survive it, you will smile again, inhale again, laugh again and trust yourself again because you are goodness wrapped in gentle gestures of genuine. I know this for certain.

Hugs to you. Be where you are. It’s okay. Truly.

XO
Kasha

on the fence

May 12, 2011

Today was a day full of photographing beautiful bags here at Yoga Mat Made on a beautiful day. Yes it was hot. Yes it was humid. Yes summer stopped by to say hello but the intensity was most welcome.

Today the question of being on the fence came up, as in when do you know it’s time to get off the fence and when is hanging out till you are sure an ok thing to do?

Answer: Yes. Yes it’s ok to hang till you know what to do. Yes, it’s okay to be on fence for as long as you need to because eventually, and you will know when this is, you WILL be tired of hanging, you will want to jump off, back into life.

Remember when you were a child, about to jump on the round-about at the playground while it was still in motion and you just knew it was time? You just knew you could nail that without falling off and busting your chin wide open. You sensed it, you moved when it was right and you never felt so empowered as when you did this. This can still happen. It will. You wont’ be able to stop yourself the pull will be that intense. It’s the waiting for that pull that is bothering you because as adults we attribute motion with success and stillness with laziness. NOT SO, I tell you, so. Not. So.

Try to remember the reason a fence exists. To support what needs supporting, to contain what needs to be held. To enable things to grow around it or through it knowing it has something to lean on. And as the saying goes, ” some days you’re the fence, some days you’re being fenced in.” (yes, I made that up )

Here’s to your ability to hang on when you need to, until you need to not hang on at all.

Till tomorrow….Hang ten!

XO
Kasha

things taught.

May 7, 2011 — 1 Comment

Me and my mom. My mom and I. Either way you write it this photo sums up the “us” that is, has always been and will always be.  In her hands is my son’s hat that she saw laying on the ground and instinctively folded it neatly. I saw it lying there in the grass and pondered how the weight of it pushed just enough on the blades of grass to bend it so I could see the underside. A wild shade of green.  It never crossed my mind to pick it up as it never crossed her mind to ponder painting it.

This stark contrast was an annoyance when I believed  if my mother didn’t understand my way of thinking,  something was wrong with me.  I projected this on her making her clueless, unaware and uncaring. She is none of these things. She rests in goodness in a 5’4″ frame. She is “happy-to-help-you” in genuine kindness. She loves to be needed which I saw as a weakness and yes, an annoyance, now I understand it be courage. Possibly the purest courage there is,  for you are never as vulnerable as when you open your heart to truly help another. My idea of courage was to climb the highest tree, do what you said I couldn’t do or the classic, “do it all by myself”.  This past year I have noticed myself mirroring her in quiet ways triggering me to write this list of things taught.

1. She taught me that twist ties on baggies are usually worth the effort.

2. She taught me that fabric softener softens your heart and your clothes as the smell reminds you of home.

3. She taught me that tucking-in things does matter.  Tucking-in your kids at night, tucking-in your shirt, tucking-in the bed sheets corners, tucking-in the lip on the dryer sheet box to keep the smell inside, tucking-in your head when you hug because that’s the best kind of hug.

4. She taught me you should always send a thank you card because I love it when someone sends me one.

5. She taught me that cooking a hot meal for my children warms their hearts first, their bellies second and their toes last as they curl up from a good meal.

6. She taught me that being a Mother will be the most painful, rewarding, confusing yet important job I will ever do and it’s okay to feel all of it, fully.

7. Most importantly she taught me that being a Mother is more than a title. It is an honor. An honor that never fades with time but rather deepens to absorption. Eventually  the person we think we are, the one we try so hard to be surrenders to the job at hand, dilutes into the person that mothering has demanded we become. Here, is where goodness rests.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!

XO
Kasha

limited

May 1, 2011

The idea of limited was the theme this past week. Limited time. Limited amount one person can do in a day. Limited amount of money to invest. Limited edition bags and giclee’. Limits!

Question of the day: ” I have so many limits how can I get anything done? “

Answer: True. It feels impossible some days. Some months, even some years. But think for a moment about Limited editions in the world of art. Normally limits seem negative, or feel like a punishment. Why with artwork does that idea flip upside down making us suddenly feel privileged to only have one of something?

Maybe it’s because knowing there is only one reminds us of our uniqueness. Maybe it’s because limited time feels like we are being cut off from our best. Maybe it’s because we hate being reminded that time is now gone forever.

Deeper in this idea is where we can learn a lesson from that Limited Edition artwork. This artwork knows it’s value, to stand alone as is. Nothing else added, nothing taken away.

If we look at limits with time, money and energy in this way we see they have their purpose. They are what they are.  We carry out what we do then the day is done. We spend what we must, we save what we can then it is done. Same with energy. Each of these things we mistakenly treat like a verb to be put into action but they are nouns in the sense that they are stable. Like artwork is once action as it’s created then a noun when it’s done, so are these things that frustrate us in our lives.

Our job is to experience it. Experience the time, energy and money that is,  then let it be. Let it go. By not looking at these things as limiting us but by viewing them as one a kind, unique entities here to be respected, here is where the limits lift.

Here’s to a limits lifting!

Till tomorrow.

XO

Kasha

flora or FaUN-a

April 25, 2011

Always the FaUN-a.

Happy Monday-after-Easter to you! Hope the Easter Bunny treated you sweetly. Or chocolaty. OR both!

Today I was asked a VERY good question that has nothing to do with business. Or does it?

Question: “Are making lists of things, good or bad because I think I make them because I’m paranoid about not getting things done and disappointing people.”

Answer: While this may not seem to fit with the art or the bags it actually fits with both. Making lists is at the core of my work whether it’s list of paint colors or lists of what needs to get done.

My answer to this is: making lists is neither good nor bad, it’s just an action. Which is better flora or fauna? Neither and both. They have two different jobs to do. Having a list and making a list are two different things. One is knowing what needs to get done, the other is the physical act of writing it down.

The why you do it could be the problem and if it’s stressing you out then it is the problem. It’s easy to get addicted to lists. There is a lot of focus on them today. Plenty of notepads, spiral bound books and organizers to keep us on track. What on earth did my great-grandmother do without all this help? She managed somehow to raise seven kids and get on with life.

Our greatest organizer is our mindful soul. The voice that whispers to you in your dream, “wake up” when your alarm clock didn’t go off as it should. Or the voice that reminds you, ” stop by the store you’re out of eggs for the muffins you promised to bake for the kids.” You know this voice. It’s the same voice that protects you, guides you and tells you it’s going to be ok. THIS is the only list we should be concerned with for it’s the foundation of the smaller, petty things we think matter. They don’t. They have a way of getting done.

We remember to call our mothers, do the laundry, pick up the kids, walk the dogs and pay the bills. We manage to do all of this because we have that voice that keeps us sane, on track and taken care of.

My answer would be not to worry that much about that list. The writing of it, where you write it, how you number it, what book you use to keep track of it and how neatly you list things. NONE of this matters. You will get done what matters as you always have and always will. Take a quick look back on the past year. Any major forgets? Not as many as you thought. See. You are the list already written.

In the flora or fauna of life remember to be FaUNa. (aka: fun) The flora will continue to seed, bud, grown and die, continuing this cycle naturally. Just as natural is your ability to do what needs to be done, with fun.

To FUN!

Till tomorrow.

Let it grown, let it grow, let it grow!

XO

Kasha